As I Was

Conversations around our house remind me of taking the bus ... lots of stops, starts, nutty people and wondering how much farther to our destination. I sometimes think MG and I have not had a complete, uninterrupted conversation in more than 7 years.

A bit of an exaggeration? Maybe. Yet, it DOES feel like we are distracted or interrupted most of the time. And not just by the kids, although they are definitely the main culprits.

I realized that "So ... as I was saying...." has become the #2 thing we say (after "I love you," thankfully). Even more than "Get back into bed NOW!" or "Leave the cat alone!" or "No one in this family is stupid!" which are all pretty high up on the list.

It's our usual splice for interrupted conversations. It works, but not perfectly. There's often something lost in the interim. Some of the passion, humor, wisdom, urgency -- or just plain fun of sharing with your best friend -- fizzles with the interruptions. I wonder if that's a little like what my parents are experiencing now: conversations interrupted.

Their "life conversation" stuttered, distracted and stopped by CHB's, my stepfather, dementia. I can relate to the difficulty and frustration of continual incompleteness. Only unlike MG and me, CHB doesn't gets a chance to splice it back together with something as simple as saying -- or being -- "As I was."