Serious Thinking

The last few days have reminded me of communication lessons that I've learned the hard way in life, with regular refresher courses unfortunately. Communication is not just about putting your words out there. It's also about what people bring to your words when they read or hear them.

The tragic events in Arizona and the many, many discussions about recent vitriolic political discourse has put this forefront in my mind. Personally, I have been very concerned about the language used in things I've seen. In fact, I often just delete political emails forwarded to me, rather than read them. Because the cavalier use of emotionally loaded language at the expense of fact is, in my opinion, reckless.

I think public language can not be subtle or cryptic. Whether using written, spoken or social media (like Twitter and the Internet) outlets, public speakers are obligated to be upfront in their language. They should never hide behind the ambiguous meanings of their words.

I believe both conservative and liberal political communicators do this. But the examples that come to mind are from conservative sources. I guess that's because those are the types of emails most frequently forwarded to me. No matter who puts it out there, I am angered when the responsible communicators quickly back away from the strong language they purposely use by saying they didn't "mean" it in the way it was taken.

Riiighhht. Most of these communicators are consummate professionals; they know many people will read what the words are not the subtle meaning. These professionals know exactly what reaction their words will bring. And their goal is to get a BIG reaction.

Too Quick to Judge?

Yet, honestly, I can't be too-too judgmental. Because I've experienced miscommunication in a handful of situations that I never expected or intended. And this was with family and friends, who I just assumed would understand what I meant. They took my words and actions in directions that surprised and floored me. And broke my heart a bit.

I was hurt that these people, who I thought knew the "real" me, would ever think I was trying to be critical or unkind. Or would misinterpret my intent so grossly. My mistake was in not realizing that these people brought their own world to my words, making them mean something different than I planned.

It also hurt a lot to think that I hurt or angered them without realizing. That my assumption blinded me to the ways I could wound without knowing it.

Thankfully, in all but one case, we straighten things out and, I believe [I'm afraid to assume :) ] we moved past the misunderstanding and hurt. I am blessed to have family and friends who are willing to listen me and accept my explanations, despite it all. But I don't want to ever forget the lesson ... no matter how hard it was to learn.

And all of this contemplation has led to this here blog. I am seriously thinking about what I'm doing here. What I want to accomplish with my writing beyond ME!. And what my obligation is to all of you who are so kind to read my blah-blah. I never want what I say to unintentionally hurt or anger you in ANY way. I realize I can't just throw my words out to you willy-nilly.

I admit, I do want a reaction. Usually I hope to get a smile/chuckle, a "me too" or a thoughtful "hmmm" ... or all three. I guess it boils down to enjoyment. I enjoy the idea that you might enjoy reading this.

Thinking about the future of my blog. Stay tuned.